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你是不是一直迷茫于作文到底要怎樣寫，才能到8分？
是不是覺得自己的作文能寫到7分，就已經(jīng)到達(dá)極限？
其實(shí)雅思作文8分，沒有那么難哦！
只要用詞得當(dāng)，邏輯清晰，不跑題不偏題，寫作8分不是夢(mèng)~
今天小編要給大家分享一篇8分作文，好好學(xué)習(xí)啦！
Task2: Ambition is an important characteristic of people. How important is it for people to make success in life? Is it a positive or negative characteristic for success?
文章中紅色標(biāo)注的考官批改的內(nèi)容，括號(hào)中是考官的評(píng)語。
Ambition is the desire (Nice definition of ambition) for accomplishment, and it is widely believed that ambitious people are likely to succeed precisely because they have the internal drive to achieve their goals. In my opinion, although being ambitious is important to make a success out of life, it brings people both benefits and disadvantages (In English we usually pair ‘a(chǎn)dvantages and disadvantages’ and ‘benefits and drawbacks’).
批注：開頭簡(jiǎn)潔明了，用ambition的定義展開這個(gè)話題~ 既自然又能妥妥的直切主題！
接著回答題目中的兩個(gè)問題：盡管一個(gè)人有沒有野心對(duì)成功很重要，但是野心也是一把雙刃劍。
僅僅是一個(gè)開頭，在開頭段寫Introduction和answer the question才是這類題型最正確的寫法！~
Having a sense of ambition helps people establish clear goals, and motivates them to make a sincere effort towards achieving their target. For example, students who aspire to become lawyers in the futurehave to be highly motivated to study hard because most law schools have high academic entry requirements. Also, ambition drives (good) people to make optimal use of their available resources, such as time and money, because these resources are scarce. People must therefore make choices between different things that they can do, and definitely choose to do those things that will achieve their personal goals first. For instance, many geniuses, such as Bill Gates and Steve Jobs, quit their universities to start their own businesses at an early age because time is precious and they chose to allocate it to their careervision.
批注：主體第一段寫了兩個(gè)方面，一個(gè)是野心能夠使人擁有明確的目標(biāo)，并且為這個(gè)目標(biāo)而努力，并舉法學(xué)院學(xué)生的這個(gè)例子證明自己的觀點(diǎn)。第二個(gè)方面是野心能夠讓人很好的利用可用的資源，比如時(shí)間和金錢，并舉了Bill Gates和Steve Jobs的例子來充分的說明他們雖然年紀(jì)輕輕就輟學(xué)，但是他們很好的利用這一段時(shí)間來開創(chuàng)他們的事業(yè)~
童鞋們可以仔細(xì)看看考官的批改，所有的語法錯(cuò)誤，用詞錯(cuò)誤 ，不得當(dāng)?shù)谋磉_(dá)都被考官一一指出并加以糾正。
However, it is not true that the desire for success is all positive. Ambition may be positive or negative depending on a person’s specific situation. Setting an unrealistic goal may be a waste of time and passion, and sometimes such goals may mislead people. For example, some people want to become billionaires in a short time. Actually, only a few people in the world can achieve this success, and the rest may eventually have to give up their dreams and sacrifice their efforts and capital which were(I changed the verb to the plural form because both effort and capital are invested) invested in this ambition. Also, in order to achieve the impossible dream, some dreamers may seek illegal opportunities to earn a huge profit such as selling drugs.
批注：一個(gè)However就能指出這一段與上一段持相反的觀點(diǎn)，那么這一段的主旨一定是野心所帶來的影響不都是好的。一個(gè)不實(shí)際的野心或者夢(mèng)想反而會(huì)浪費(fèi)人的時(shí)間和精力。更甚者，為了達(dá)到某些不實(shí)際的幻想，有些人可能會(huì)做出一些違法的行為。
In conclusion, ambition does make a contribution to people’s success but it is the goal which suits the specific situation that is likely to produce positive outcomes.
批注：結(jié)尾段重申自己的觀點(diǎn)，野心確實(shí)能拉近人們和成功之間的距離，但是必須是某些特定的目標(biāo)才能產(chǎn)生積極的效應(yīng)。
你以為作文批改到這里就結(jié)束啦？
并沒有哦！
壓軸戲通常都在后頭呢！
TASK RESPONSE： 8
Sufficiently addresses all parts of the task
Presents a well-developed response to the question with relevant, extended and supported ideas.
By the way, the most commonly perceived downside of ambition is that it can make people ruthless where they want to succeed at any price. For example they neglect their personal relationships. They may also not be interested in helping other people much because they have eyes only for their own goals. So ambition can make people very self-centred and egotistical.
COHERENCE & COHESION： 8
? Sequences information and ideas logically
? Manages all aspects of cohesion well
? Uses paragraphing sufficiently and appropriately
LEXICAL RESOURCE ：7-8
? Uses a wide range of vocabulary fluently and flexibly to convey precise meanings
? Occasional errors in word choice
GRAMMAR：8
? Uses a wide range of structures
? The majority of sentences are error free
? Makes only occasional errors
看了這篇8分作文，小伙伴們是不是也覺得8分并沒有那么遙不可及呢！
只要童鞋們肯努力肯花時(shí)間，一定能獲得你想要的分?jǐn)?shù)！
加油吧~
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